Before the past few weeks, I can't tell you the last time I felt bored. For pretty much as long as I can remember there has always been so much to do, so much available to keep me preoccupied.
As a kid, TV was present, homework was a 'to do', volleyball on the schedule, and Oregon Trail filled in when the aforementioned did not.
In college, I stepped into a new city, a New York, that promised to keep me occupied at all times. Stepping onto the moving platform of the city's sidewalks afforded me the disadvantage to never reflect or look within.
During the past five years, with the popularity of pinning, instagramming, likes, and the such, available at all times of all days, it has allowed the space between any uncomfortable or comfortable moments to be so effortlessly stolen away.
More distraction, less feel. Less self and less authentic expression.
But in the fast few weeks I've decided to take a dive into new territory. A step into boredom. I've tried to be intentional around bringing the spaciousness that, to be honest, I haven't felt in a really. long. time.
And it doesn't feel great all of the time. The presence. The now. But it feels right.
I believe in a distinct difference between the struggle you know isn't serving you and the challenge (with an extra scoop of discomfort) that is supporting you to grow. Feeling without distraction. Looking within. Being open to receive and saying no to the constant go.
I see the avoidance of boredom in so many places. The open space within ourselves that holds feeling, ideas, creativity, and knowing. I see it at the grocery store, in cars, and on dates. The moment of silence: check Instagram. A quiet and cozy intentional night in disappears before you as you look up from your iPad and see the night has already passed. A fact check: you've checked out of a connection with wonderment and with the person sitting across from you.
I've come to learn our boredom is precious. It's the place we learn more about who we are: what makes us happy and what makes us uncomfortable. It's the place where ideas grow. It's in this place we open our eyes. It's in this place we wake up to the present moment and feel the love and the icky and all that is in between and outside the lines. In these moments, life happens, lessons happen... and I think a lot of us are missing them. Put down your phone and look someone in the eye. Cancel a few appointments and spend the night not doing much. Walk slower and maybe even stop to notice the sky. Turn down the music and listen to the rain.
I'm not saying its good or bad or otherwise. It's simply a place many of us have found ourselves. I'm delivering this message, in a time I think we need it most. Less distraction, more feel. I know I needed to hear it.
When is the last time you felt bored and continued to simply sit within yourself and feel through it?